As a senior myself, I am acutely aware of losing members of my family as well as friends who have either moved away or who have died. Their leaving has left holes in my life. I am aware that I could no longer simply share with these people in person. I realize these losses are part of the aging process. In this article I would like to present one alternative that allows us to create a safe place where we can share our reflections, memories and hopes. This place is a journal. Some might call this a diary. It is simply a private space where we can share what is important in our lives. We, then, can decide whether to share these reflections with others or keep them to ourselves. I would like to share with you in this article some of the things that I have learned in fifty years of keeping a journal.

First and foremost – even if you have kept a journal before – keep it simple. Purchase a notebook as a way to begin or you can keep your journal on your computer. Whatever is most comfortable for you. As I said, keep it simple.

Second, when you write in your journal, it is for you and for you alone. I recall a James Bond thriller, entitled “For Your Eyes Only.” This perfectly describes what we write in our journals. It is for your eyes only!  So, in our journals, we can write whatever we want without fear of criticism from another. That is why I see our journals as finding a friend who listens and accepts whatever we say, regardless of what we say. They accept us as we are. So, it is with our journals. Our journals accept whatever we want to say. As I said earlier, we can share our journaling with others and most importantly, it is we who decide whom we share with or not share with.

So, you have your notebook. What do you write? I will offer some topics that are potential ones to write about. One area for journaling is simply what is happening now in your life – both the joyful and the challenging – and how you are feeling about these experiences. For example, I was saddened when I learned that a friend required surgery, or I was excited when I learned that an old friend was coming to visit. This kind of journaling can keep us focused and aware.

Another kind of journaling might be more like writing about your life as way of legacy statement for your family and friends to read. This might include important moments in your life as well as important aspects of the lives of your ancestors. This might be a separate notebook that you wish to share with important people in your life after you have died.

Another kind of journaling is keeping a gratitude journal. There is much research that says that developing a regular practice of giving thanks leads to a healthier life both physically and mentally. One way to do this is to jot down 3-5 things you are grateful for from the day, as you prepare to go to sleep. Others do this in the morning. What is important is naming things you are grateful for. Also, I have found keeping a gratitude journal has led me to also express thanks to people in person. Another way is that I take what I journal about outward to others.

Also, if you have been keeping a journal or are going to begin, it is important to let someone know what you want to do with your journal(s) after you pass away.  This could be a statement in your journal, a statement in your will or tell a trustworthy friend. I say this because I believe our journals are sacred documents and we need to be intentional about what happens with these kinds of documents.

As I said, I have been journaling for a long time and I have led workshops in journal-keeping. I never cease to be amazed by what happens when people begin to develop the practice of keeping a journal. It is finding a safe place – really a friend – where we can write about what is going on in our lives. We often discover new learnings and awarenesses. I hope that my suggestions for journaling will be helpful to you either to begin journaling or to expand your journaling practice.

Mark T. Scannell is a senior and avid journal-keeper. He lives in Minneapolis with his wife.