Photo courtesy of Brenda Elsagher
Cancer survivor Brenda Elsagher pours humor into books like I’d Like to Buy a Bowel, Please!
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Unexpected laughs: A cancer survivor helps others find humor
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By Andrea Langworthy
She never expected to write a book titled, I Want to Buy a Bowel, Please!, but if Brenda Elsagher looks back, she can see everything that has happened to her was the right stepping stone for what would come next. A hair stylist with her own salon, Elsagher was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 1995. After her surgery and recovery, she thought, "If not now, when?" and launched her dream of performing comedy by signing up for classes at the Acme Comedy Club. She won the Twin Cities' Funniest Person Contest and was soon writing jokes and opening for more recognized comedians. Then, she decided to go to college.
As part of a class on how to write a major project, she started a book about having cancer. She used humor in her writing because otherwise, "Cancer can be devastating. I try to find the light moments even though it doesn't take away the bad moments." If the Battle Is Over, Why am I Still in Uniform? Humor as a Survival Tactic to Combat Cancer, has had four reprints.
The book caught the attention of Hollister, Inc., a company that manufactures ostomy products. (An ostomy is the surgically created opening when a portion of the colon or the rectum is removed.) Hollister liked her openness and honesty and thought her use of humor would appeal to patients and health care professionals "It was love at first sight for both of us," says Elsagher. "One of the best talks I got to make was to the people who put the [ostomy] pouches together. I got to thank them for the quality of my life because of the job they do."
One of eight children, Elsagher, 52, grew up in Richfield, Minn. Finishing high school in 1974, she didn't know what to do next. While getting her hair cut, the stylist, whose friend was opening a beauty school, said since she liked people she should become a cosmetologist. "Beauty school made me think creatively," says Elsagher. The business suited her. Two years after her first job, she opened her own salon. She enjoyed talking with her clients — hearing their stories and telling her own.
Writing her books and speaking for Hollister diverted her energy and Elsagher found herself working less in her salon. "I was traveling the country [giving talks] more often, setting up an office in my house, and getting ready emotionally to say goodbye [to the salon], which had been a great place to try out jokes and stories. I do miss that aspect of it," she says of the business she left in 2007 after 30 years. "I miss the customers and coworkers. But now, I can put that energy into the writing."
Her second book, I'd Like to Buy a Bowel, Please!, is a compilation of humorous, hope-filled stories submitted by people who have ostomy in common. Called ostomates, Elsagher is quick to point out how close the word is to optimist. "When people face having this type of surgery," she says, "They think they may never leave the house." Elsagher wants them to know they will, that they are not their disease. And, "Hollister wants me to travel and tell people they will."
Elsagher met her husband, Bahgat, through a personal ad — although Bahgat was only there as an interpreter for his brother, whose English wasn't good. Love being what it is, Elsagher and the interpreter ended up having the second date. Bahgat, studying for his Ph.D. at the University of Minnesota, had planned to return to work in his native Egypt. Elsagher never thought she would marry someone of a different religion. "But God must have a sense of humor," she says. Married 20 years, Bahgat, a Muslim, and Elsagher, a Catholic, celebrate the traditions of both faiths. "I don't fast anymore [for Ramadan]. My husband and kids do," she says, adding with a laugh, "But I'm the one who should." The Elsagher children, in high school and college now, were impressed when their mother went to college after her diagnosis — especially, seeing her struggle with algebra.
Elsagher embraces her struggles and wouldn't wish away her cancer because of where it has taken her. "Comedy was a catapult for the public speaking I'd never done before, and I realized I am kind of a funny speaker," she says. She feels blessed to have found "this untapped gift of writing" and now writes a column for the Hollister company newsletter. Her third book, Bedpan Banter, funny and inspiring medical stories by over 80 contributors, will be released in May.
"The spirit within us is so much stronger than we think," says Elsagher. "Once in awhile, I might have a pity party, but it doesn't last more than a minute."
Andrea Langworthy lives and writes in Rosemount.
Contact Brenda Elsagher
LivingAndLaughing.com
or 952-882-9882
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