Photo by Robb Long
John Elder thought about becoming a mentor for two years before he finally called Kids ‘n’ Kinship. Now he has mentored 15-year-old Dante for four years.
By Andrea Langworthy
When John Elder, a Bloomington empty-nester, read an article about the difference a mentor can make in a young person’s life, he tucked the newspaper in his brief case. For two years, he carried the story with him, giving it an occasional look. “I’m going to do it today,” he told his wife one morning. On his way to work that day, WCCO radio featured an interview with Jan Belmore, executive director of Kids ’n’ Kinship, the Dakota County nonprofit agency that matches children with mentors. Elder took that as a sign and contacted Belmore. After training sessions and the required background check, he met Dante, who had been waiting 11 months for a mentor.
Four years later, Elder and Dante, 15, who wasted no time getting to know each other, are still a team. “Sometimes, he’ll come to the house,” says Elder. “We’ll throw something on the grill, toss a ball around, or play cribbage.” Some get-togethers include Sherry, Elder’s high school sweetheart and wife of 41 years. Other times, Elder watches Dante perform on the drum line as a member of his high school marching band. Last year, Dante started shooting sporting clays in preparation for the hunting trip he will take with Elder this fall. “The things we do together are too numerous to list,” says Elder. Riding bikes is definitely one of them.
When Elder began bike riding four years ago, it was his son, Christian, who encouraged him to stay with it. Elder’s interest in the sport grew, and it wasn’t long before he decided it would be fun to do a 900-mile cross-country ride for charity. The first year, 2006, he and two friends rode from Wolf Point, Mont., to Minneapolis and raised $16,000 for Kids ’n’ Kinship. In the past two rides, he has raised $19,000 and $26,000, respectively, for the organization whose goal is to provide mentors for children ages 5–16. Being a mentor, Elder says, “It was really easy to incorporate Kids ’n’ Kinship into the ride.” Fittingly, the ride is now called The Christian Elder Memorial 900 after Elder’s son, who died unexpectedly last year. It was Christian who flew from his home in Charlotte to meet his father at the finish line in Apple Valley the first two years of the ride. After the 2007 ride, not long before his son passed away, Elder says the two “spent a wonderful day together riding around the lakes. It was one of those days that might have been lost had [Christian] not passed away, but [his death] made it stand out and am I ever thankful for that,” says Elder.
Christian, a successful racecar driver like his father, had been a project manager for Elder-Jones, the general contracting firm where his dad is president. Elder’s other son, Justin, also a racecar driver, is a partner in the company and works alongside his father. Daughter Beth is a pharmaceutical salesperson in California.
Christian, who “did more in 38 years than most people accomplish in a lifetime,” had a 33-foot cabin cruiser in Charlotte that has been brought North to Lake Minnetonka. “Dante just loves that boat,” says Elder.” Since we got together on the boat for the first time this June, it’s what we’ve done every week.”
A mentor, says executive director Belmore, can be one person, a couple, or an entire family. The program is looking for people who will be role models on a weekly basis, a support person, which is something Elder knows about firsthand. When Elder takes off on his 900-mile ride, he has the benefit of a support person, “a very critical part of our organization who can go ahead of us to see if the environment ahead is dangerous and we have to reroute ourselves.” Isn’t that what every child should have? A mentor can be that support person who knows the road ahead can be dangerous and that it is better traveled with a team.
Mentoring a child who might not have had the opportunity to play cribbage or have someone to throw the ball around with is the order Elder’s life has taken. Despite having experienced a depth of grief that Elder says is out of sequence and “exceeds something deeper than I can possibly describe,” he says, “Life is still worth living … Christian would expect us to go on living. We try not to focus on the grief but to look back on the good.”
Like the good that has come from a newspaper article that kept nudging at Elder six years ago. And the mentoring Elder says he receives in return from Dante. “With his grasp of electronics, whether it’s my digital camera or cell phone, he keeps me on top of it.” Dante know what it takes to be a good team member, too.
Andrea Langworthy lives and writes in Rosemount. Kids 'n' Kinship
952-892-6368
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